Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 05 by Away Laughing on a Fast Camel

Author:Away Laughing on a Fast Camel
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Social Issues, Humorous Stories, England, Diaries, Georgia (Fictitious Character), Diary Fiction, Nicolson, Juvenile Fiction, Fiction, Romance, Humorous, Interpersonal Relations, Love & Romance, Dating (Social Customs), Mammals, Animals, Girls & Women, Friendship, Adolescence
ISBN: 9780060589363
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2004-01-02T06:00:00+00:00

8:50 a.m.

Three million years later she finished her ludicrously boring ravings on, by which time we had arrived at Stalag 14. Hawkeye—not world renowned for her deep love of me—was eyeing me like a mad beagle.

“Georgia Nicolson, you are covered in makeup, you look like a creature of the night. Go and take it off immediately, and also take a bad conduct mark.”

I was grumbling to Jas as we slouched off. “Creature of the night, what is she going on about?”

As I came out of the loo to scamper off to Assembly with that lovely red scrubbed look so beloved by the very sad, I bumped into Wet Lindsay.

“Georgia Nicolson, you are three minutes late for Assembly. Take a bad conduct mark.”

I said, “I tell you what, Lindsay, why don’t you just boil me in oil and call it a day?”

But I said it after she had trolloped off on her extremely knobbly legs.

english

We are doing the life of the Bard of Avon, otherwise known as Billy Shakespeare or the Swan of Avon, as Rosie calls him, because she deliberately misheard “bard” as “bird.” Miss Wilson was raving on about his doublet and how he invented language.

Oh I am sooo bored, and distracted by my new pash, Masimo. I can’t stop thinking about him. He is by far the dreamiest boy in the universe and probably beyond.

I sent a note to Rosie and said to pass it on to all of the gang. I wrote it in Shakespearean-type language, because I can’t help being artistic. And also I have a thirst for knowledge(ish).

I wrote, Odds bodkin I am boredeth. I feeleth a let us goeth down ye olde discotheque coming on.

Rosie wrote back, Forsooth and lack a day let us grooveth!!

So when Miss Wilson turned her back to write something dull on the blackboard, we had a quick burst of manic “Let’s go down the disco” dancing to relieve our girlish tension.

Vair vair amusant.

break

Miss Wilson will be very pleased with Billy’s enduring effect on the culture of England. When Rosie sat on the knicker toasters in the blodge labs, she leapt up and said, “Lawks a mercy, I burneth my bum-oley.”

Which made me laugh a LOT. I think I may be hysterical with love.

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